


He Was the Best I Ever Had

by TheDevilWithin3



Series: Animatic One-Shots / Mostly Lams [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Character Death, Depression, Henry Laurens' A+ Parenting, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:48:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23134180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDevilWithin3/pseuds/TheDevilWithin3
Summary: Inspired by another Kotik animatic, "My Smile is Extinct" by Kane Strang. Check out of the animatic and song! :DSUMMARY: John met Alex by mistake at a cafe one day. They've been inseparable ever since. That is until the two attend a party, and someone else catch's Alex's eye.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Series: Animatic One-Shots / Mostly Lams [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1662829
Comments: 5
Kudos: 33





	He Was the Best I Ever Had

**Author's Note:**

> I really enjoy writing fics based on animatics, it gives me something to go off of instead of having to create my own story (im sort of lazy af at times). Of course I love to add my own things to the animatic story. But please, check out the animatics!! I absolute adore Kotik. 
> 
> p.s. John meets Alex in a VERY cliche way...

John walked into the fresh cafe at 6:43 in the morning. It was early especially for the young man, considering he normally got up around 8. John made his way over to the counter and stared up at the menu. The little shop offered tons of pastries and hot drinks. He decided to settle for a mocha with whipped cream. He loved sugar. "Pardon me," he said. He made eye contact with the person taking his order. It was a young man such as John. He had darker skin and a slight beard. His eyes looked beady. 

"Can I help you?" John jumped and smiled nervously. 

"Right, sorry... I'll have a medium mocha with whipped cream please for John Laurens," John ordered. Then a donut caught his eye. "Add a chocolate sprinkled donut, actually, please." The person nodded and said his order would be finished shortly. John nodded at this, paid, and stepped away from the counter. He looked around the shop. It had a warm feeling to it, like home. It was almost empty except for a few younger girls giggling at a booth near a window.

"Laurens?" someone called. John turned around and saw the same man with his drink and donut in hand. He walked over and grabbed it, thanked him again, and was about to walk out of the cafe when he collided with someone. His mocha got tossed up in the air and spilled all over the ground, including the person he'd walked straight into. 

"Hot! Hot!" the stranger exclaimed. He stood up quickly and grabbed some napkins, wiping himself down. "Watch where you're going, asshole!" John flinched at the tone of his voice and apologized. 

"I'm so, so, sorry, please, let me pay for your order," he pleaded. The stranger scoffed and reached his hand out. That's when John realized he was still on the ground. He grabbed the man's hand and was hoisted up. "Sorry, again..." Then the stranger laughed. Laughed. 

"It's fine, really. I'm sorry I called you an asshole, New York, can never tell who you're going to run into. Quite literally," he joked. John blushed and nodded slowly. He stood there for a few seconds before noticing that his drink had been cleaned up and the stranger was handing him a bag with his donut.

"Thanks," John said quietly. He grabbed the bag and continued to just stand there. 

"A-are you going to leave?" the stranger asked. He turned around to look at the cashier then back at John. "It's fine, really. Go." John shook his head. 

"No!" he cried. "I mean, no, please, let me pay for your order. I feel so bad." 

"Dude, calm down. First of all, you just lost your drink. I feel like I have to pay you. Second, Herc here's my friend. I get free coffee all the time." John blanched at this. Of course he had to run into one of the worker's friends. And Herc, that was the name of the nice man. 

John shook himself to focus and his grip tightened on the paper bag. "I'm John," he offered dumbly. The stranger looked shocked at the introduction but masked it quickly. 

He handed his hand out one more, "Alex Hamilton. You got a last name John?" 

John thought about answering, but if Alex was like the person he thought he was, then he would definitely _not_ like his who his father was. So he shrugged. Alex only laughed more. "Alright. That back there is Hercules Mulligan. I call him Herc." 

"Cool," John blanked. He sounded so dumb. Alex looked like he was about to walk off to order when John jumped to grab his shoulder. 

"Uh, do you need something?" 

"Yeah, actually... if you're not busy, or anything... would you like to maybe go out to coffee? Or lunch? Or, anything?" John expected Alex to either laugh again or start calling him a "fag" for being into men. Instead Alex's eyes widened and he turned to meet Herc's eyes. He seemed just as shocked. He recollected himself and turned back to John, who looked like he was about to pass out from the anxiety. 

"Yeah, that's actually be perfect. 12, here?" 

John found himself nodding like an idiot. 

That's how he found himself dating Alexander Hamilton for 3 solid years before deciding to pop the question. 

The two had been invited to a party with some of their friends. John later after meeting Hercules and Alex had met Lafayette, who was a perfect friend. He was passionate about his hobbies and cared for all his friends. The four got really close together, and only got closer after John started officially dating Alex. 

"I'm thinking of a tux," Alex muttered in the mirror. He was wearing a plain white shirt with some black sweats. John was lying on the bed behind in holding in a laugh. "What's so funny, bub?" 

"It's just, who are you trying to impress, honey?" John teased. He loved Alex with all his heart. The two barely fought, which is why their relationship worked so well. Alex did eventually figure out who John's father but, but it only made him love him even more for pushing through with his life. 

Alex faked being offended and clutched his chest like he was dying. "Laurens, are you, jealous?" John laughed. 

"Please, of what? No one else would date such an impeccable idiot like you," John teased some more. This was their relationship. Gently nagging, making out, confessing problems, it was perfect. A month after John and Alex's first date, Alex took John to see his adoptive parents. George and Martha Washington. They were such kind people, John felt like he really belonged. Right when they were about to leave for the night, Alex pulled John in for a kiss in front of George and said, "I love you, and I'll say it to my dad." That's when John knew he was the one. Now three years later, they're going out to a party with the greatest group of friends. John had decided that at midnight, he would drag Alex out of the house to pop the question. It was going to be perfect. 

Alex heard his phone ding and picked it up from the desk beside him. "It's Laf. He told us to be read in ten. Can you do it, buddy?" John shrugged and jumped up from the bed. Then he made little jazz hands to his outfit. 

"Ta-daah!" 

"No. No way in hell. You're wearing at least a plaid shirt," Alex demanded. He grabbed John by the shoulder and led him to the closet. "Don't leave this area until you've found a shirt. Go on." So John did. He picked out a nice gray shirt and dark jeans. Alex did decide to wear a tuxedo, despite his boyfriend's teasing. 20 minutes later they pulled up at a fairly large home. Hercule's home. His parents weren't rich and loaded, but they made way in life with their own tailor business. 

They were about to step out of the car with Laf when John had a sudden wave of nausea go through him. He made a small groan and closed his eyes. Lafayette was already outside, but Alex noticed it and grabbed John's arm. 

"Are you okay, sweety?" 

"Yeah, just a slight headache. I don't know why though," John replied. "Maybe I just got car sick. It happens." He groaned as a pain shot through his head. 

"I can stay in the car with you until you feel fine," Alex suggested. John waved him off. 

"Nah, you go in with Laf and Herc. I'll be fine. I'll come in when I feel a bit better. Shouldn't be more than a couple minutes." He couldn't have been more wrong. Alex reluctantly agreed and stepped out of the car. Then he disappeared behind the house doors. John was feeling a bit better, but he was suddenly tired. So he leaned back in the car and closed his eyes. Maybe he'd take a five minute nap. Yeah, that'd be it. 

Two and a half hours later John woke to the sound of someone tapping against the car window. He groggily opened his eyes to see Alex standing near the car, or rather slouching against it. He seemed drunk. He opened the door for Alex who practically tumbled onto him. He smelled of cheap perfume and... lipstick on his neck? 

"What happened, Alex?" John asked, trying to sound casual. He didn't want to jump to conclusions. He expected Alex to laugh it off as always and saw he met this really cute gay girl, so they just decided to cuddle. That's all. Alex did laugh, but he didn't really prove himself. 

"Oh, Johnny! I think I finally met _the_ one," Alex giggled. John's heart skipped. Was he going to propose or say something completely different? 

"So do I, Alex," John said carefully, seeing how Alex reacted. 

He jumped up and stared John in the eyes. His pupils were dilated. Definitely drunk. "No, you don't understand. She's perfect. Gives the best kisses and knows how to make me feel important, needed. I think I'm in love with her." John froze. He resisted the urge to shove Alex off him and leave him on the ground. 

" _Her_?" he questioned sharply. Alex stopped and immediately got up off of John, suddenly "sober." 

"N-I mean, John," he stumbled out the words. He made a big mistake. John had heard enough though. He shoved Alex out of the way and got out from the car. He noticed how Lafayette and Hercules were now outside, watching the encounter. Someone else was there too. A girl. Long, brown hair. She was pretty, John would date her, if he was straight. He never knew Alex was bi. Never told him. 

"Did you fucking fuck a girl?" John raged. He motioned to the girl who wore a guilty expression on her face. "Alexander!" 

Alex panicked and tried to reach for John. "No, I mean, I didn't! I'm sorry! I misspoke!" John easily dodged the drunk man. 

Then he turned to the three that were watching. He saw how Laf and Herc refused to make eye contact. He wondered if he knew Alex had fucked that girl in the house, while they were there. "Well, did he?" he roared. Herc looked down and Laf got a sad expression. 

"Oui, it is true..." Lafayette only glared back when Alex shot him a betrayed look. John couldn't stand Alex, or any of them for that matter. He was seeing red. He pulled out a box from his pocket and opened it. There revealed the ring he was going to give Alex that night. He saw how Hercules tensed at the sight and how Lafayette's shoulder trembled. But he didn't care for their reactions, he only wanted Alex's and that girl's. The girl had tears in her eyes and her hands were covering her mouth, in attempt to hold in the sobs that were erupting from her. She didn't deserve to cry. 

John turned to Alex who was staring at the ring in his hands with wide eyes. John recognized the desired look he gave it. It was how Alex looked at John when he told him he loved him. "I was going to fucking propose to you, Alex, tonight in fact," he stated coldly. Then he grabbed the ring from the box and tossed it at Alex, who numbly caught it. He continued to stare at it. john swirled around to look the girl in the eyes. 

" _You_ ," he snarled. "You make sure he gives you that ring when you two get married." With that. He bolted. 

Everything was lined up neatly. Three different sized blades, two different shot guns, and a long rope. He had so many choices. He didn't have a choice with living like he did with dying. John stared at the items emotionless. Five hours ago he found out his boyfriend had fucked another person. A girl. John reached for the middle sized blade. He rolled up his sleeves and dragged the blade against his skin. He felt cold. He watched as the blood oozed. It stung, but not as much as his heart did. After ten minutes he had ten slices on each of his arms. He slowly put the blade down and reached for the gun. His hands were shaking, and he didn't know what to know. He loaded the gun and examined it. It was black, new. Alex had gotten it for him for hunting. He didn't know that John didn't like hunting. John wrapped his hand around the gun properly and turned it on himself. He took a deep breath in and counted. 

One. 

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Six.

Then he muttered a sentence, "Kill me now, I want to die." 

Seven.

He found himself shooting right after seven. 

_You were the best I ever_ had...


End file.
